


Abandonment Issues

by likebrightness



Category: Weeds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-07-07
Updated: 2010-07-07
Packaged: 2017-10-13 06:47:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/134200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/likebrightness/pseuds/likebrightness





	Abandonment Issues

  
  
  
  
**Entry tags:**   
|   
[character:andy botwin](http://likebrightness.livejournal.com/tag/character%3Aandy%20botwin), [character:nancy botwin](http://likebrightness.livejournal.com/tag/character%3Anancy%20botwin), [fic:weeds](http://likebrightness.livejournal.com/tag/fic%3Aweeds), [pairing:andy/nancy](http://likebrightness.livejournal.com/tag/pairing%3Aandy%2Fnancy), [rating:nc17](http://likebrightness.livejournal.com/tag/rating%3Anc17), [rating:r](http://likebrightness.livejournal.com/tag/rating%3Ar)  
  
---|---  
  
_**FIC: Abandonment Issues (Weeds, Nancy/Andy, R)**_  
 **Title:** Abandonment Issues  
 **Author:** [](http://olaf47.livejournal.com/profile)[**olaf47**](http://olaf47.livejournal.com/)  
 **Fandom:** Weeds  
 **Characters/Pairing:** Nancy/Andy  
 **Rating:** R/NC-17  
 **Spoilers:** Through season 5  
 **Word count:** 1,669  
 **Disclaimer:** The characters are not mine. The words are.

  
  
Andy’s going to get married.

Or going to propose. Or whatever. He’s got a ring.

He still has it, Nancy realizes, so she guesses he hasn’t proposed yet. Or she hasn’t said yes yet.

She’s her fucking doctor and that’s the only reason she and Andy met and isn’t that nice? Andy met Nancy’s doctor, her obstetrician she had to go to because she was having a drug kingpin’s baby, and Andy, the brother of her dead husband and the closest thing to normal that’s been in her life since—Andy met Nancy’s doctor and Andy liked Nancy’s doctor and now Andy’s going to fucking propose to Nancy’s doctor.

It’s not that Nancy’s jealous.

Nancy doesn’t bother to get jealous of anyone Andy dates. If Nancy’s going to be jealous, it’s of soccer moms, who cart their kids from place to place and kiss their husbands when they come home from work and live a fucking normal life. They don’t have to deal with this loss and this danger and everything that she has to deal with.

So no, Nancy’s not jealous that Andy’s proposing to a woman he only met because his dead brother’s wife is having a drug kingpin’s baby.

It’s just that Andy really _is_ the closest thing to normal in her life. And he’s the closest thing her sons have to a father anymore—which, clearly, they need. She doesn’t know how to control them or deal with them or make them realize she loves them and she’s knows she’s fucking up and really it would probably be best for them if they just left and grew up on their own because she doesn’t know how to help them with it. Andy does, knows more than her anyway.

And even though he’s ridiculous Uncle Andy, he’s _stable_. He’s her fucking rock and he’s been there, he’s always been there and now suddenly he’s proposing to someone?

He’s never had any commitments, not any real commitments, besides her and the boys. They’re _family_ and he can be smart and stable and responsible when it comes to them. He’s supported her and he’s most of the reason she hasn’t killed herself or someone else (yet) and now he’s leaving her.

He’s abandoning her.

That’s it, the crux of the issue. He can’t _abandon_ her like this.

What’s she supposed to do if he has other commitments? She’s grown used to him, being there, because he’s always there when she needs him, but if he’s got a wife, how’s he going to do that? He can’t be there for her when she needs him if he’s got a wife and who knows, a family soon, little Andys and Audras running around.

That’s why she kisses him, really. So he won’t leave her. Because she literally needs him to survive.

It’s not a romantic or a sexual need. It is pragmatic. She’d kill someone. Or herself. Or get herself or someone else killed. Her _kids_ would get killed or kill someone.

Or whatever.

The point is, she kisses him for reasons completely unrelated to anything romantic and sexual.

But honestly, from there, it goes downhill pretty fast.

She digs her fingernails into his back and settles her mouth on the skin of his throat. He hisses and she hopes she draws blood, both with her nails and her mouth. Let Audra see the way he’ll be marked, the way he belongs to another woman.

She pulls back to look at her damage. The skin where her mouth was is already fading from red to a delicious purple. She digs her nails in again.

A nose forms in the back of his throat, a half-growl or something and she doesn’t know if it’s a warning to stop or a plea to continue.

She does it again.

He drops his mouth to her nipple but she shakes her head.

“Unless you want a mouthful of breast milk.”

He smiles. “Been there, done that.”

He pokes her in the ribs instead and she can’t help but shriek with laughter. Andy grins and nuzzles the undersides of her breasts, kisses and nibbles and it’s all so intimate, making her laugh then making her moan.

He loves her.

It’s not that she didn’t know he _had_ loved her, but she didn’t expect it to still be there. It is, though, in the gentle way he touches her, even while she’s basically attacking him, biting at his lips, fingernails sinking into his shoulders.

She doesn’t want him to _love_ her, she just wants him to stay. Except the more he touches her, the more she’s melting, vision blurring around the edges, mind following suit.

She doesn’t know which makes her feel more guilty, when she compares him to Judah or when she loses herself and forgets Judah. She’s fucking her dead husband’s brother and of all the things she’s done since Judah died, she thinks this might be the worst. Andy’s the only thing she hasn’t fucked up yet. She thinks maybe she should have just let him go, and then his fingers slip inside her and she can’t think anymore.

“Nancy.”

It’s not a prayer, because that’s too clichéd, but it is some kind of thanks to some kind of god.

She doesn’t bother trying to stay quiet, lets herself moan, can’t quite hold back a few whimpers. He doesn’t smirk like she might have expected him to; he’s too focused on trying to pleasure her to be smug about the fact that he’s succeeding.

And succeeding he is, three fingers pumping into her while he bites at her neck. She arches against him, hands clutching at his hair.

“Nancy.” His breath is warm and wet against her collarbone.

She doesn’t want to say his name, like it would somehow make this too personal. Instead she half-swallows just as he twists his fingers, and the gasp gets caught in her throat.

Fingers inside her, thumb on her clit and face too close. Her eyes cross if she tries to focus on him, so she just closes them and comes.

When she comes down, she says, “ _Now_ , Andy,” before realizing how desperate she sounds.

He kisses her and buries himself in one thrust, easy given how wet he’s made her. She doesn’t think about Judah or Esteban or the boys or drugs. She just breathes and clenches, releases on the exhale.

She tries to do it again, build up a rhythm, but she’s having a hard time breathing. Her throat clenches, tingles, opens barely enough for oxygen. He’s touching her like he loves her and he does or she loves him or something, and she can’t really remember that she had a motive behind this. It’s lost somewhere in his steady thrusts and her gasping breaths and the electricity everywhere their skin touches.

“Fuck.”

He nods against her throat, bites her collarbone.

“Fuck,” she says again. “Andy.”

He speeds up, suddenly, adds an extra twist of his hips so he grinds down on her clit. Her name is hot and desperate against her skin, some kind of mantra, and when he bites her collarbone again she arches against him and sees stars. His vision whites out and he shudders, breathes her name again, and collapses on her.

The air conditioning has been on full blast for days and their sweat cools quickly, sticky against their skin. Andy rolls off and pulls the sheets up over them. He keeps an arm heavy around her waist.

Suddenly she doesn’t know what to do. This all started as pragmatic but she doesn’t have a plan anymore. She thinks she might actually love him, might actually be in love with her dead husband’s brother and she knows it could just be post-coital endorphins but thinks no, thinks this is something she’s been trying to avoid since she made Andy have the masturbation talk with Shane, which is a ridiculous time to start falling in love with someone except it made her realize he just might be dependable and he was certainly the closest thing to a father her kids would ever have again. And now she’s slept with him and he’s holding her like she’s his. She almost wants to be but she can’t believe in happily ever after because she knows if she tries to leave Esteban he’ll have her killed, have her whole family killed brutally and somehow that Mexicunt will use it to get the sympathy vote. She can’t be with Andy because Esteban will kill her, and him and the boys and oh, fuck, she’s crying now.

“Hey, hey, Nance,” Andy says, rolls to his side to hold her better. “Nancy.”

“You can’t leave, Andy. You can’t.”

He brushes her hair back with both hands and kisses her forehead. “Shhhhhh, Nancy. I’m not going anywhere.”

“You can’t marry her,” she’s still crying and feels like an idiot. “You can’t abandon us.”

His eyes widen but he keeps smoothing her hair back, kissing her occasionally. He’s quiet long enough that she’s sure that he’s not going to answer, that she’s ruined everything. But then he says, so quiet it’s almost a mumble,

“I won’t. I won’t marry her.”

Nancy clutches at his shoulders and buries her head against his chest. Everything seems a little better suddenly, though she knows it doesn’t change much.

“I love you, Nancy. I love the boys,” he says. “And—not that he’d probably be too happy that I banged his wife—but Judah’d definitely kill me if I ever left you.”

She barks a laugh against his skin.

There’s still a chance Pilar will have her killed, or Esteban will find out about Andy and have her killed, or she’ll get caught in the crossfire of someone trying to kill Esteban, or too many other horrible possibilities to count. But no matter what happens, Andy will be there with her and he will say something ridiculous and make her laugh.

“Thank you, Andy,” she sniffles, loosens her grip on him. “Just…thanks.”

  



End file.
